I went out today

It was very nice. We just walked around town until we found the shop we were looking for. It was nice to be out of the house and just hanging out.

I got a beautiful crystal too.

I also, on my way home, stopped and treated myself. I got my nails done. It's been so long since I pampered myself, I think I deserved it. They will take some getting used to, since it has been over a year since I had them done, but I'm happy.

Hubby and I talked some more today, and I think he might actually be serious about getting help. I keep telling him that he shouldn't be getting help because of me, but because he wants it. In our talk today it seemed like he is ready to grow up and mature into adulthood at 27. I won't hold my breath though. I will, however, be a supportive wife in this adventure we are about to embark. It will be a slow and sometimes painful journey, but in the end, if we can both grow it will only make our relationship that much stronger.

I saw my grandmother today, my dad's mom. My aunt is living with her right now, and I picked my aunt up for our outing today. Before we left my grandmother had to throw a few insults out there, talking shit about my mom again. It's so pathetic, and I hate when I engage myself in these petty discussions.

She made a comment about how my dad helped raise me or something to that effect. I reminded her that, he in fact did not. He was never around. She aruged that my mother would never let me go with him, and that was why he was never around. I then pointed out that Dad was probably drunk or high, and that was why Mom wouldn't let him take me. I also pointed out that there were several occasions when he was suposed to come see me and didn't, and others when he did show up hours, and sometimes days late, and I didn't want to go with him. He was a stranger to me. I never got to know him when I was a child. She started in on that being Mom's fault, because of all the terrible things she used to tell me about him. That really set me off, because one thing Mom never did was have a bad word to say about my dad until I was old enough to figure them out for myself, and start asking questions.

My mother has always been honest with me, but she never had anything ugly to say about my father until I was old enough to have questions. At about age 9 is when I realized he was unreliable, and was only around when it was convenient for him. On my 9th birthday he lived in Dallas, and said he couldn't make it to my party. A few days later I found out from my best friend, his dad was my dad's best friend, that my dad was actually about a mile from my house on my birthday hanging out with my best friends dad. That's when I started with the questions.

My dad is a great dad now to me and my brothers and sister. But there will be no denying the fact that he was a dead beat dad for the first 16 years of my life. Rarely a phone call, and even more sparce was a visit.

I remember one time when I was like 11, and I was at my grandparents house. A man came into the house very late at night, and scared me. I didn't know who he was, and my grandparents were sleeping. He had to introduce himself as my father. Yeah, Grandmaw, he was really a huge part in who I am today, huh?

I guess some people just remember what the want to remember.