My Private Place

Hi, I'm Beth. I needed a private place to rant and rave about my personal life. Somewhere where I can say whatever I want and not worry about anyone in my life reading it and getting bent out of shape.

I am married, but not so happily right now. I do love my husband but he has a drinking problem that he refuses to get help for. We are trying to work through it right now. He's out of town working, and as soon as he gets back he SAYS he wants to get counseling and help. We'll see if that actually works.

I have lots of fucked up drama in my life that sometimes I really wish would just go the fuck away. I have two best friends. One is the younger sister of an old friend. The old friend and I don't get along very well, we always clash, so it is hard for me to spend quality time with her sister. The other is wonderful and sweet in her own way, but is so mixed up in the fucked up relationship with her boyfriend (baby's daddy) that she can't see the path she is headed down.

My mom has been sick on and off for the past several years, and lives pretty far away from me. I can't afford to move to her, and she can't afford to move to me.

I have five brothers and one sister. Two step-brothers, who I haven't spoken to in almost 8 years, three half brothers, and one half sister. I'm not incredibly close to any of my blood siblings, as they are all at least 10 years younger than me. A few only live an hour away, and one lives with my mom, almost 12 hours away.

Both of my living grandparents are crazy in their own ways. My maternal grandmother is incredibly self absorbed, and doesn't have time for me or my brother, only for my cousins that live a few miles away from her. My paternal grandmother is an interesting person. She was always incredibly mean to me as a child, and for that reason I didn't see my grandfather for 7 years before he passed away in a car accident. I try to get along with her now, but she is a bit judgemental and it is just really hard to spend time with her.

I live in a beautiful old rock house, in the country. I spend a lot of time reading, and blogging on MySpace. I believe, since I've started this place I might spend quite a bit of time blogging here. I have so much inside me that I just need to get out! My mom is the only person I can be completely honest with when I talk about my emotions, so this place will be good for me.

Well, I don't know of anything else to write about right now, so I'll be back as soon as something happens that I need to vent about.

Peace out!